The jokes thread.... Don't be afraid to muck it up!


#61
  • So Mr Steppenwolf, I take it that’s not your real name?
  • No.
  • What is?
  • I was born Tubby Wilde.
  • Ah …

#62

I don’t like those Russian dolls…

They’re full of themselves.


#63

What’s the only praise you won’t here after someone finishes up at Slimming World? “Its been great, I feel I’ve really grown as a person”


#64

I was at a funeral today for a mate who got killed by a tennis ball, it was a great service


#65

At a Russian meeting.
TRUMP: OK, so shall we start. Is everybody here?
ALL: Mr Trump. Nobody’s here.


#66

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”

I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”


#67

For Beeko …


#68

Ewan MacKenna…

Thank you very much

:fishing_pole_and_fish::fishing_pole_and_fish::fishing_pole_and_fish::fishing_pole_and_fish:


#69

I’ve just opened my new undertaker business, where we use glass coffins to view the deceased.

Will it be a success?

Remains to be seen.


#70

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down


#71


#72

I got my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “thanks”.
I said “don’t mention it”.


#73

I went to a Karaoke Night where 70’s music wasn’t allowed.
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.


#74

That new Cindy Crawford work-out video is amazing. I’ve only had mine for a week and already I’ve got a right arm like Arnold Schwarzenneger." Viz circa 1990


#75

Speaking of Viz


#76

:grin:
Is anyone else old enough to remember Bronco toilet paper? That’s what we had growing up in pre tissue paper days. It was like a mild grade of sandpaper and you were rationed to three sheets!


#77

Jaysus sounds like the stuff they have in work at the minute!


#78

The first rule of Alzheimers Club is:
You do not talk about chess club.


#79

Alzheimer’s club : new friends every 10 minutes


#80

I hate being bipolar, it’s great