The jokes thread.... Don't be afraid to muck it up!


Sometimes I think my cup will overflow …


Pretty sure it will if you’re dancing on the ceiling.






So it won’t just go on once, twice, or three times…?


More likely to be easy like Sunday morning.


The largest condom factory in England burned down.
Theresa May was awakened at 4 a.m. by the telephone.
“Sorry to bother you at this hour Ma’am, but there is an emergency!
I’ve just received word that the Durex factory in Birmingham
has burned to the ground. It is estimated, the entire
English supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week.”
May: - “Oh damn! The economy will never
be able to cope with all those unwanted babies.
We’ll be ruined. We’ll have to ship some condoms in from France …”
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea… The French will have a field day with this one. We’ll be a laughing stock… What about Ireland?
Theresa May: - “Okay, I’ll call leo and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick.
That way, they’ll continue to respect us as Englishmen.”
Three days later, a delighted Theresa May ran out to open
the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived.
She found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested…all coloured green ,white and orange with small writing on each one:
MADE IN IRELAND Size: - SMALL​:rofl::joy::joy::joy:



Showing signs of marriage fatigue. Do you wanna hug?


He’ll get a hug when she says he can have one…


She’s obviously a Liverpool fan :grinning:


Nearly. Rangers.


Ah yes. Stockholm syndrome!


Can we not ban name & avatar changes around these 'ere parts? :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:


Depends on who’s changing them …


You in particular Kemosabe. :eyes:


As the great Bob Dylan once said in an airy-Ish tone, it ain’t me babe


Fatigue? Must have skipped that stage and went straight to the walking dead.


Full mental fatigue …