The jokes thread.... Don't be afraid to muck it up!


#561

I tried to watch every single Christmas episode from about 20 years of shows but after a few couldn’t help but watch a whole series. The more I watched the more you see the brilliance of the two central actors and characters and the chemistry they had. Up there with Laurel and Hardy for our times


#562

This is from a match report on Ireland v Poland in Dalymount in 1958…

ireland


#563

Ex Tory MP, Stephen Milligan?


#564

Tony Hanahoe’s knicks?? Might’ve been Bohs stockings


#565

Hello …


#566

With the announcement of Larry Gogans upcoming retirement from 2FM:

Larry: Name something a blind man might use…

Contestant: A Sword

Larry: Name the capital of France…

Contestant: F

Larry: Name a bird with a long neck…

Contestant: Naomi Campbell

Larry: Name an occupation where you might need a torch…

Contestant: A burglar

Larry: Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine…

Contestant: A bicycle with wings

Larry: Where is the Taj Mahal?

Contestant: Opposite the Dental Hospital

Larry: What was Hitlers first name?

Contestant: Heil

Larry: Complete the saying "As happy as…

Contestant: Emmm…

Larry: Think of me…

Contestant: A pig in sh*t

Larry: Can you name a dangerous race?

The Arabs

Larry: The name of a famous bridge…

The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Larry: Something people might be allergic to?

Skiing

Larry: What star do travellers follow?

Joe Dolan


#567

Still laughing at that.


#568

Larry: Name a town in Kildare that sounds like a part of your body (answer was supposed to be Athy)…
Contestant: Kilcock.


#569

#570

If anyone’s interested… A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2019 :football: Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place…It’s at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride’s name is Nicole, she’s 5’4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She’ll be the one in the white dress.


#571

American sitcoms are a strange thing - there’s some good stuff buried amongst the mountain of rubbish - Community, Parks & Recreation, the Office, Atlanta (if that qualifies as comedy). Never loved Seinfeld (Jerry always a bit too smug), but Curb Your Enthusiasm is good.

And on that note - RIP Marty Funkhouser
(from 3.05 onwards)


#572

“A lot of Leave voters say ‘Stop complaining, it’s democracy!’ Well democracy doesn’t always work. If five people democratically elect to take your iPhone, it’s a mugging.”


#573

This is older than @Harrys_Tiles


#574

My birthday suit needs ironing admittedly but otherwise I’m still a magnificent man.


#575

[/quote]
My birthday suit needs ironing admittedly but otherwise I’m still a magnificent man.
[/quote]
Indeed you are, never suggested otherwise!


#576

The oldies are always the best


#577

Wayne Rooney - 2001


#578


#579

Well put


#580

:laughing:

…is it tea you’re looking for?