The jokes thread.... Don't be afraid to muck it up!


I tried to watch every single Christmas episode from about 20 years of shows but after a few couldn’t help but watch a whole series. The more I watched the more you see the brilliance of the two central actors and characters and the chemistry they had. Up there with Laurel and Hardy for our times


This is from a match report on Ireland v Poland in Dalymount in 1958…



Ex Tory MP, Stephen Milligan?


Tony Hanahoe’s knicks?? Might’ve been Bohs stockings


Hello …


With the announcement of Larry Gogans upcoming retirement from 2FM:

Larry: Name something a blind man might use…

Contestant: A Sword

Larry: Name the capital of France…

Contestant: F

Larry: Name a bird with a long neck…

Contestant: Naomi Campbell

Larry: Name an occupation where you might need a torch…

Contestant: A burglar

Larry: Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine…

Contestant: A bicycle with wings

Larry: Where is the Taj Mahal?

Contestant: Opposite the Dental Hospital

Larry: What was Hitlers first name?

Contestant: Heil

Larry: Complete the saying "As happy as…

Contestant: Emmm…

Larry: Think of me…

Contestant: A pig in sh*t

Larry: Can you name a dangerous race?

The Arabs

Larry: The name of a famous bridge…

The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Larry: Something people might be allergic to?


Larry: What star do travellers follow?

Joe Dolan


Still laughing at that.


Larry: Name a town in Kildare that sounds like a part of your body (answer was supposed to be Athy)…
Contestant: Kilcock.



If anyone’s interested… A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2019 :football: Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place…It’s at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride’s name is Nicole, she’s 5’4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She’ll be the one in the white dress.


American sitcoms are a strange thing - there’s some good stuff buried amongst the mountain of rubbish - Community, Parks & Recreation, the Office, Atlanta (if that qualifies as comedy). Never loved Seinfeld (Jerry always a bit too smug), but Curb Your Enthusiasm is good.

And on that note - RIP Marty Funkhouser
(from 3.05 onwards)


“A lot of Leave voters say ‘Stop complaining, it’s democracy!’ Well democracy doesn’t always work. If five people democratically elect to take your iPhone, it’s a mugging.”


This is older than @Harrys_Tiles


My birthday suit needs ironing admittedly but otherwise I’m still a magnificent man.


My birthday suit needs ironing admittedly but otherwise I’m still a magnificent man.
Indeed you are, never suggested otherwise!


The oldies are always the best


Wayne Rooney - 2001



Well put



…is it tea you’re looking for?