The jokes thread.... Don't be afraid to muck it up!

beeko · 2018-01-10 17:15:23 UTC

That’s as old as @Rochey

Rochey · 2018-01-10 21:11:51 UTC

How old am I? I can’t remember

beeko · 2018-01-17 19:01:16 UTC

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Rochey · 2018-01-17 20:48:48 UTC

I hate being bipolar, it’s fantastic!

Bolo · 2018-01-18 08:31:19 UTC

Thief

Bosco · 2018-01-18 22:04:24 UTC

Help! I’m playing Scrabble with Midge Ure. I’ve only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me: OVNR.

DUB09 · 2018-01-18 23:04:28 UTC

beeko · 2018-01-28 14:42:06 UTC

Would a joke about flat pack coffins be distasteful?

JJF · 2018-01-28 14:50:13 UTC

Well the day that’s in it…

DUB09 · 2018-01-28 14:53:56 UTC

I have no ikea what you are talking about

Rochey · 2018-01-28 15:41:38 UTC

My mate has started a business selling glass coffins, will it be a success? Remains to be seen…

beeko · 2018-01-28 16:32:20 UTC

Could have seen through that one.

…

A friend of mine’s dying wish was to be cremated but the undertaker let him down.

DUB09 · 2018-01-28 16:38:54 UTC

My mate was a crossword addict. When he died he was buried 6 down and 3 across.

DUB09 · 2018-01-29 22:00:01 UTC

LiamMac · 2018-01-29 23:00:49 UTC

IMG-20180129-WA0003

Nappertandy · 2018-02-06 00:22:01 UTC

@DUB09 your mate

A Nigerian Prince has died & left his millions to a cat
He tried to give away his fortune for years, but no one ever responded to his emails

beeko · 2018-02-13 14:03:20 UTC

Is a semi colon some kind of half arsed grammar thing?

25AliveOh · 2018-02-13 19:39:32 UTC

You should try it in coddle

DUB09 · 2018-02-14 11:00:13 UTC

Managed to book a table for meself and the other half later. Turns out she can’t actually play snooker.

Navyseal1 · 2018-02-14 15:38:57 UTC

First time I heard that I laughed so much I nearly fell my Dinosaur.